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Work-Life Crisis Mode (Part 1)

Everyone has an opinion about the 20 somethings and once you hit 40, you're over the hill, but little is said about the stage in between: your 30's. Why is that?

Maybe because once you hit your 30's it's "gut check" time.

It's either "work sucks" or "my life sucks."

Translation: I've been working this job for while now. I know it's not the best fit for me, but I have no idea how to transition into something else plus I'm not willing to risk quitting my job if nothing better opens up. 

Have you been there? Are you there right now?

I'll actually cover "my life sucks" in part 2 of this post next week. 

So you're at a crossroads where you look back at your 20's and ask yourself, "Where did time go?" "Why didn't I plan more?" "Is this really what work is supposed to be like?"

This is post-dreaming...it's reality. I've seen this stage in a lot of my clients who want to get into a new industry, but have no idea of how to do it. It's too much of a risk starting over, but you're also rotting away from the inside-out if you continue to stay where you are. 

Try this perspective: do you want to look back on your life and regret not taking a chance? I don't.

Landing a new career is not an extremely fast process, but it can happen if you're willing to do the right things.

What are your strengths? How strong is your network? How willing are you to go through the "back door?" 

These are challenging, but necessary questions to answer in order to move forward. Everyone's situation is different, but I believe the same process works across every industry.

If you're at a point in your career where you need a change, but just don't know how to make it happen, let's talk. 

Once you have a game plan and are committed to execute it, it's only a matter of time before things change.  

What is a Lifestyle Entrepreneur?

Someone who creates a business around what they are passionate about with the intent of earning enough income to support their lifestyle. 

In simpler terms: doing something you love, getting paid for it and living off it.

Basically there are 3 types of Entrepreneurs (based on motivations):

1. Wealth Creation
2. Lifestyle
3. Social

Number 1 is focused on making money. Build it, scale it, sell it, cash in and repeat.

Number 3 is determined to create a solution for an existing social problem.

None are better than the other. It comes down to what category you fall into.

Personally, I'm motivated by (#2) freedom and flexibility of schedule so I can spend more time with my family and friends. I appreciate all entrepreneurs, but I resonate with lifestyle entrepreneurs the most.

I never dream of managing hundreds of employees or leading a multi-million dollar company. That's not my style. I prefer to be involved with my business on a daily basis and do what I love around my family's schedule. Being a lifestyle entrepreneur means I see my business as a means to an end, not an end in itself. 

That's what has lead me to pursue coaching lifestyle entrepreneurs, because we share similar motivation and values. I can't stress how important the "why" you do what you do is. 

Making money is important, but not the most important to a lifestyle entrepreneur. Most LE's love to travel. Others want set days off. Time is finite and in this economy, time as a currency is extremely valuable. If you're driven by relationships like I am, you'll sacrifice your personal ambitions for loved ones. I don't want to spend several years of my life grinding away and look back at my career and feel I missed out on important life experiences. 

By no means am I knocking the wealth creation or social entrepreneur. In fact they do a much better job making money than most lifestyle entrepreneurs. Most of my business mentors are a hybrid of the wealth and social entrepreneur. I learn so much from them especially in the areas where I'm not wired the same way as they are. 

After reading this post, if you consider yourself a lifestyle entrepreneur, let's talk!

Why Habits are Better than Goals

By this point you've probably already failed at keeping your New Year's Resolution. Why is that?

You had the best of intentions, plus you were highly motivated when you made them.

Besides your goals not always being S.M.A.R.T...

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

The main culprit is ONCE you fail to complete a goal, RARELY will you continue to pursue it. 

Let me explain further. Most goals can't fully be controlled by you. For example, if you're a salesperson, your goal may be to make $5,000 a month. That's a good number, but there are too many factors that are out of your control. A better HABIT would be to make 50 cold calls a day and base your results around that.

The reason why HABITS are better than GOALS is because they are only controlled by you. That means it's 100% dependent upon your efforts.

In my line of work as a career coach, most of my clients come to me with the goal of finding a new job. One of the first things I tell them is I can't promise to find you a job. What I can do is share what I've seen as successful habits and hold you accountable to completing those tasks. If you maintain good HABITS, you'll eventually reach your GOALS.

Goals are about the RESULT.
Habits are about the PROCESS.

Once you change your focus from setting goals to creating good habits (and having someone/something keep you accountable for them) you're on the right path. In this world of instant gratification, everyone wants to be the quick rabbit when in fact it's the slow and steady turtle that wins the race.

Form good HABITS and you'll eventually get the RESULTS you want!  

Emotional Buying

As logical as you think you are, most of our decisions are made purely out of emotion. 

Take a look at most commercials, advertisements and retail stores/eateries...

It's simple: we see something that appeals to us, we buy it.

All great brands know if you have a nice design (packaging), you significantly increase your sales.

Take for instance Costco. The reason they don't label their aisles (and frequently move around products) is because they're hoping you'll make extra "emotional buys" that you didn't plan on.

So as a consumer, how do you counter your mortal ways?

Wait. 

Yes, that simple. The next time you're on Amazon searching, put items on your wish list instead of purchasing them right away. I bet in a week you'll forget what you saw. If you remember, buy it then.

Emotion doesn't wait for logic, unless you command it to. 

Examine the last time you lost your temper. Was there really a good reason to blow your lid? (most of the time, no.)

If you pause, leave the situation briefly, then return and you'll probably respond differently. 

That's why marketing is geared toward penetrating your heart more than your mind. Brands prey on filling your emotional needs. 

We think we make decisions with our brains, but usually that's not the case. 

I'm not suggesting you become a robot, just be more mindful of how you make your decisions. 

Make sure the "cost" doesn't outweigh the verdict.

The Fragile Mind

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." 

That statement has never been more false than now...

Millennials are great at taking risks, following their dreams and are by far the most tech-savvy generation in history. The flip side is how they deal with adversity (a.k.a. not getting your way).

Take for instance the show X Factor. Contestants arrive with hopes of being the next superstar, but sometimes forget they are in a performance based competition. The best judges provide constructive feedback, yet the audience boos while the participants disagree or respond defensively. 

Newsflash: you're not the best. All your dreams won't be fulfilled. You're not as good as you think you are. 

Learn to deal with failure. Teach yourself how to cope when adversity hits. Work hard on implementing a solution. 

Today, there's an emphasis on leadership skills, but how much of that is for notoriety? Leadership is not about you. It's about guiding and developing others. Everyone can't lead at the same time. Look around...no one is following.    

Never has coaching been more important than now. Regardless if it's for personal or professional help, that extra set of eyes and ears provides fresh perspective, objective assessment and accountability for progress. Guiding talent in the right direction is what produces victory. So get on the right path and hire a coach!

The Path to One Billion [Flipbook]

via eBay Deals

If I Could Do College Over Again

...I probably wouldn't go. What?! 

Most careers aren't linear. That means there isn't a straight/direct path to finding a job in most fields. 

Certain industries require a degree or amount of schooling to even qualify, so in those cases you have no choice. 

If you fall outside of medical, teaching, engineering, etc. your college degree isn't worth much. 

Let's take my situation as an example. I graduated with a B.A. in Psych and my first job out of college was as a Youth Pastor which had no correlation to my education. 

If I could do it all over again, these are the 3 areas I would focus on:

1) Building my Network. It's all about who you know. Friends, and friends of friends, will find you a job. They're instant referrals and immediately bridge the gap of trust. If you're not reaching out to people you know, start. If you are, keep doing it and asking for more introductions.

2) Taking more Internships. There's no way of predicting whether you'll actually like or be good at something until you do it. Experience is the best teacher. Trying different jobs is a more productive way of identifying what you want to do than dreaming is.

3) Work in Sales. Arguably the most important skill in business. You can read/talk about it, but you'll never get better at it unless you do it. Whether you want to work for someone or be your own boss, you have to learn how to sell your product, service and/or yourself. 

College sets you up for a few career options, but if it's not a prerequisite for what you're going to do after college, you've got to weigh the cost vs. benefits. College doesn't prepare you for the real world. Experience in the real world prepares you. The three skills I mentioned above can be learned prior to college. No matter where you are in your career, follow this advice and you'll significantly increase your chances to be employable. 

Side Note: As a career coach, I advise people not to apply for jobs online through third party sites like Monster, CareerBuilder & Indeed. You'd have better odds winning the lottery. In fact, studies show less than 1% get jobs through those sites. 

The Buffet Strategy

Everyone likes to eat at buffets. There are limitless choices and numerous times to return and try new things. What if I told you starting your own business is similar to eating at a buffet?

Your first plate is filled with all different kinds of foods you want to try. Most of them you enjoy, but some you don't. To me, the best part of a buffet is your "return trip." That's where you skip the things you didn't care for and get more of what you really liked.

The first business you try will be as a "fan." You may not know much about the industry or your competition. Selling your product/service can be a huge challenge. You'll underestimate how much work it takes to succeed. Some areas you'll thrive in and other tasks will stifle you. The second time around you'll choose a business you understand and sales will be your main focus. If you can't map out a plan for massive sales, you won't start it.

This point of this article isn't to say you should try to fail the first time around. Instead, statistics show it's very hard to succeed the first time you start a business. If you're smart you'll take what you've learned during the initial run and apply it towards your following businesses.

I've enjoyed being an entrepreneur, but there are so many mistakes I made the first time around. I loved what I was doing, but didn't know how to sell it. With my second business, we study our competition, created a sales strategy and measure our progress frequently. The questions I ask now are different and moving forward only happens with a sound marketing plan. 

So keep fighting for your dreams and work hard to make them a reality. Your initial attempt will be much harder than you anticipated, but absorb what you are being taught through experiences and you'll eventually get there!

Debunking the Myth of Risk

From the outside, entrepreneurship seems very risky. I'm here to tell you it's not.

Sure, I'm biased because I am one, but I'll continue from my previous post to say your corporate job isn't as safe as it appears. 

Working for a large company gives you the illusion of security, but you could easily be let go tomorrow.

Everyone desires at least partial control of their lives and if you own a business, you have more of it.

What differs mostly from being an entrepreneur is: you don't have guaranteed income regularly and you have to learn how to sell. 

It's a skill set much different than what you've learned in school. Not only are you selling a product or service, but you're selling yourself.

Is it challenging? Yes. Can anyone do it? No.

In fact you'll work longer hours and get paid less initially. If you're willing to accept that, continue moving ahead.

What's not true is that it's highly risky. Anything you do has an amount of risk. For example, there's a higher risk that you can get in a car accident than crashing while flying in a plane, but almost everyone drives daily. 

I look at it in another way. Would I rather risk and try or not and regret it for the rest of my life? This isn't as much about risk as it is about effort. If you quit your job and start a business, it's probably not the smartest decision to make (I made it myself), but as long as you try new things, not repeat the same mistakes over and connect with people who have done it before, you'll eventually get there. 

Entrepreneurship even makes you look at failure differently. Talk to any successful entrepreneur and they can tell you 10 times the amount of mistakes they've made to the few successes they've achieved. Failure becomes your teacher as long as you implement the lessons it teaches you.

So as you ponder your next idea to pursue, instead of asking yourself why you should do it, ask why not?

Side Hustle

"Side hustle" is a term used by the younger generation and aspiring entrepreneurs, but guess what?

It's becoming a reality for EVERYONE.

The skill set that college should teach, but doesn't is: how to SELL.

The days of corporate security are over. Pensions, 401K's and retirement funds are rapidly disappearing. That means you can't put all your eggs (hope, money, dreams, etc.) in one basket.

All your ideas for a side business need to be implemented NOW. 

If you currently have a job, you can lose it overnight...
If you're unemployed, it can last a long time...
If you're an entrepreneur, you have to keep evolving...

This isn't meant to scare you, but motivate you to start DOING.  

What do you have a passion for?
What experience(s) in the past has prepared you for the future?
How can you make money doing it?

Everyone wants to follow their dreams, but you need to figure out a way to get paid to do them.

I'm not telling you to quit your job and pursue you passion now. 
Instead start researching, testing and networking in the industry you want to be in. 
Get some experience, even if it's not paid, so you can learn what your customers want. 

If you do your homework now, you'll reap the benefits of your "side hustle" becoming your main thing. 
Good luck and get started NOW!

What is Mentoring? [Infographic]

Rear View Mirror

Would you drive your car by staring into the rear view mirror instead of looking ahead?

Most would answer no, but in life there are a lot of "rear view mirror" drivers...

Let's use driving your car as a metaphor for life. It makes sense to focus on what's in front of you and be aware of your surroundings while "driving." What's in front and around you takes precedence over what's behind.

The past can help you learn from your mistakes and give you context for making better decisions, but dwelling on it can destroy you. Successful people don't sulk about their past. They recognize it and move forward. How do you know if your past is guiding you? See how often you repeat making the same mistakes over and over again.

People who live in the past make excuses. They play victim to their circumstances. They believe they have no control over what will happen next. The problem is they choose to believe all of the above is true. When you create a self-fulfilling prophecy about yourself usually it comes to fruition.

If you want to escape your past and move into your future, you've got to stop looking in the rear view mirror for answers. Your ability to "move on" is determined by your perspective.

Don't be a prisoner of your past. Be present and focus on the future. It's your choice where to look while you're "driving." What direction are you headed towards?

The People Who Run the World

Guest Post by Josh Allan Dykstra

The people who run the world do so because they care to do so.

They are not any smarter than you or me.

They don’t have access to any better information.

They’re certainly not of higher character or moral fiber (if that wasn’t proved to you in 2008-2009, you weren’t paying attention).

They don’t have more grit or resilience.

(If we’re being honest, they may very well have started with more connections or money, but that’s becoming less and less important as it gets easier and easier to connect.*)

And this is why it all comes back to “care.”

The people who run the world — those who make the rules, etc. — do so because they want to do so. The vast majority of us opt out of these decisions because it’s such a hassle to participate. We want the world to be better, but if we’re being honest, it’s just such hard work to actually make it better.

If you feel this way, you are not alone.

There are many days when I wake up and think…

“Is it really worth the hassle?”

Good question… for my kids and their kids, I’m pretty sure it is. Then I think…

“Can one person truly make a difference?”

On most days I stay convinced that’s the only way it works. Then I think…

“Deep down, do I somehow enjoy banging my head against a brick wall?”

No, I don’t. But if I don’t care, who will?

The thing about making a “dent in the universe” is that you often have to be the hammer doing the denting. We don’t talk about this very much. It hurts, and often times, if we’re being honest, it kind of sucks. But I’m also pretty sure it’s the only way things really change — if we care enough to actually see it through.

*The money thing is admittedly tricky because of the whole Maslow problem: unless we have our basic needs taken care of, we don’t really think about these “bigger” issues. But “need” is more relative than we give it credit for. Money is horribly distracting — most of us, particularly in the US, do NOT need as much money as we think we do. We think we have to compare ourselves with the people who were born into a higher tax bracket, but of course, we don’t. We don’t REALLY need many of those things. We’ve just convinced ourselves otherwise.

When Failure is Your Best Teacher

I remember hearing a coach say "You can't learn anything from winning, only losing." At the time I thought he was crazy, but over the years I believe that statement is true.

Nobody grows up wanting to fail, but failure is inevitable. Even if you're risk-adverse at some point you'll experience defeat. Because it's not "if," but "when" you'll encounter failure so here are some ways to shift your thinking when it comes to failing.

There are no overnight success stories. There is so much hard work put in behind the scenes that no one will ever know except the person going through it. Have you ever heard the quote, "Success is 99% failure?" If that's true it's a "numbers" game. That means the more times you try, the greater chance you'll eventually succeed (with a lot of failure along the way).

Failure has such a negative connotation to it, but maybe you should start looking at failure as a part of the journey to succeed. The better you are able to cope with and embrace failure, the less rejection and losing will sting. Most risk-takers become numb to failure because they know it's just part of the process.

Now don't misinterpret failure by attempting to experience it daily. Knowing what you should avoid and not repeating the same mistake next time around will lead you to victory. The more ambitious your goal, the more arduous the process. Any great accomplishment will encounter setbacks along the way. What matters and what you can actually control is how hard you go at it and how determined you are to try new methods and along the way.

There's nothing worse than functioning by insanity (doing the same thing over and expecting different results). If you're willing to fail, then success isn't too far ahead.

Framing Perspective & Praxis For Innovation

Guest Post by Charles Lee

Innovation, in its most foundational form, is the introduction of something new (e.g., a new idea, method, or device).

While there’s some value in defining innovation, it’s far more important to frame one’s perspective and praxis for innovation. Innovation is much more than simply introducing new things and/or ideas. Good innovation actually solves problems for the one(s) receiving its benefit. Here are some thoughts that have helped me frame how I view and approach innovation:

• Innovation changes the current situation into a preferred one. Innovation is not simply the act of adding a new idea on top of previous ones, especially those that created the problems in the first place. Rather, it’s an endeavor to create a new reality that breaks through our current roadblocks to the future that we desire.
• Innovation requires good problem solving and design skills. Good innovators have (1) the ability to identify, clarify, and articulate the real problem and (2) design a practical solution that people actually need. Development of these skills require lots of practice and time.  
• Innovation moves beyond creativity to strategy, metrics, implementation, assessment, and on-going refinement. Creative ideas are not enough for innovation. Innovation is not brainstorming nor just talking about new ideas. Innovation, in order to be effective, must attach itself to intentional planning, execution, and continual refinement.

Innovation is hard work. It’s far easier just to talk about ideas that might create the change we desire. Unfortunately, ideas are impotent without action.

The good news is that once you get in the habit of acting upon your ideas, your ability to innovate will quickly improve. Furthermore, you’ll start to see noticeable change in your life, work, and play. (You can thank me later.)

#LiveForward

3 Skills Millennials Need to Succeed

Working in a "bridge" position as a consultant between Baby Boomers and Millennials I've noticed skills that young professionals need to thrive in this economy.

Professionalism for Millennials comes down to meeting the demands of their senior counterparts. Here is what I believe are the top 3:

Speed Matters: When you receive a phone call or email respond quick. That means within 48 hours, but preferably 24. Follow up is essential and the ones who do it faster and better get the prize. Sadly, I've witnessed many missed opportunities that had nothing to do with talent or experience, instead lack of urgency. Move fast or you'll get left behind.

Improve Your "Soft" Skills: In the age of technology, communication has eroded. Texting may be easier and more convenient, but it's not professional. Want to know what impresses management? Public speaking ability. Now you need to be able to write a clean email, hold your own during a face to face conversation and command presence in an interview/ audience. It drastically increases your chances for a promotion and pay raise.

The Ability to Sell: It helps to sell a tangible product, but what you really need is the ability to sell yourself. If you are fortunate enough to have a corporate job with benefits now, start working on your "side hustle" because the new economy demands everyone is at least a part-time entrepreneur. When I look back on my college years, I wish I majored in business and started a sales job when I was a teenager. That's a skill most college graduates don't leave with, but can benefit you for the rest of your career.

I don't claim to be the authority on career advancement or Millennials, but I've worked with enough as a career coach and recruiter to recognize what matters. In fact, the 3 skills I listed above aren't exclusive to the young professional, they're important to your career period. It's helpful to know what you want, but understanding a need then solving it equates to long-term success. 

Getting Inside the Millennial Mind Infographic

OMG: Getting Inside the Millennial Mind infographic by threestepsahead.

Don't Play Hero Ball

Hero Ball refers to a selfish brand of playing basketball. When a player is more concerned with his own statistical performance than winning, there's a problem. Today's athlete is easier to market based on individual talent, but talent alone doesn't directly equate to winning. 

Let's transition to the professional world. If you're solely interested in being successful alone, you're missing the boat. Yes, you need to be a certain degree of selfish to get ahead, but it's hard to climb high without the help of others. 

Take for instance attending a networking event. I've been to plenty to know who's in it for themselves vs. those who genuinely want to help others. The "sharks" who are after the sale craft their pitch and want you to buy. When they realize you have nothing to offer, they leave. Someone who is genuinely interested in connecting with others asks more questions and wants to know how they can help you. Another true indicator of intentions is what, if any follow up is done after the meeting. 

Going back to my example of the athlete, not only is a "hero" out for themselves, they're also hard to play with. You'll notice they tend to jump from team to team (company to company), season after season (year after year), not because they're not talented, but because they don't make everyone around them better or get along with many people.

It's important to note, every success story has many people who helped him/her get there along the way. You won't hear about them because it's not newsworthy, but every tall building needs a foundation to stand on. 

Be ambitious, pursue your dreams, but don't be a hero and step on people to get there.

Learning To Say No To Good Things

Guest Post by Josh Allan Dykstra

Entrepreneurs never want to pass up a good deal.

We thrive in the shimmering halo of possibility. We’ve learned through experience that one opportunity almost always births another, and that it’s our job to see the things others miss. We are always on the alert for the next Whatever. Our ears are constantly perked and our eyes are open wide. If they aren’t — if we don’t stay available and flexible and receptive and enthusiastic — we miss those things that make us, and our businesses, grow.

Literally, we create real things out of no-thing; this is the only sentence on our job description (if we had one).

As we grow as entrepreneurs, however, a new challenge emerges: learning to say NO to good things.

This is hard, because our experience has taught us to not do this. One of the reasons we were able to create a business from scratch is because we said YES to a million things others said NO to. We saw opportunity where others saw certain abject failure. We refused to relent when others may have quit.

But a never-ending stream of “YES” simply isn’t sustainable, for a couple of reasons:

First, we have to learn to say no to good things when they’re attached to the wrong people.

As your career progresses, you will inevitably come across amazing, potentially world-changing ideas that you want to be a part of. Your honed marketplace instincts will kick in and scream “PAY ATTENTION” — loudly, right in your ear. But as you learn more about the idea or project, you’ll also learn more about the people who are behind it.

Like they say: everybody’s normal until you get to know them.

Ideas that look good (and probably ARE good) on the outside can have not-as-golden insides, and the insides are always about the people.

I am not talking here about scumbags or assholes, by the way. Hopefully your instincts told you to stay away from those people altogether. I am talking about really decent people with really, REALLY great ideas — but who don’t treat you like you should be treated. This area gets rather gray very quickly, and it’s why learning to say NO to these opportunities is so damn hard.

As an entrepreneur we should develop obscenely strict standards for the kinds of behavior we’ll tolerate inside our inner circles, and we should be fanatical about protecting it. All the money in the world isn’t worth spending your time beating your head against a brick wall. Be militant about finding ONLY situations that are healthy and in alignment with the way you deserve to be treated.

Second, we have to learn to say no to good things when they don’t fit our long-range strategy.

When you’ve created something real, people will notice. Recruiters may stop by and say hello, random people will track you down on Twitter and want your attention, and opportunities will present themselves.

First off, this is amazing and we should be forever grateful that there are people who seem to care about what we’re doing. We may work hard to get what we’ve got, but we’re absolutely no better than anyone else, and for someone to seek out our expertise on, well, anything should be a ever-humbling experience.

We should also be very careful.

As your business grows, very well-intentioned others will attempt to pull you in a thousand directions. You’ll get invited to job interviews and nonprofit boards. You’ll be asked to guest post on blogs, share people’s content, and help friends-of-friends. I’m sure many people have opinions on how to handle this; my current policy has three parts:

1.    First, be nice to everybody.

2.    Second, be straightforward and don’t BS people.

3.    Third, have a larger strategy that helps you know when to say NO.

The first two are hard, but not complicated. The last one is not-so-hard once you have it, but it’s really complicated to get there, which is why I want to talk about it a little more.

For me, a larger strategy starts by getting crystal-clear about the “noble cause” of your career. Start here:

-       What’s the big problem in the world that you’re on a life’s mission to solve?

-       When you think about the state of the planet, what pisses you off more than anything else?

-       What is the one thing you’d like to be known for?

These are a few of the questions that helped me find my noble cause (which, if you’re curious, is: to improve the wellbeing of people by creating better places to work).

Without this “noble cause” I wouldn’t have a clue what to say NO to. I’d end up fracturing my attention in a million unproductive ways. (It’s hard to stay focused even with this, honestly. When your “problem to solve” is appropriately large, it leaves you many ways to get there.)

I’ve also found that, for me, family and health and balance are a crucial part of my “life strategy,” and that my sincere desire for those things also helps tremendously when having to say NO. Whatever your equation is, find a way to get your long-range target on the wall, and use it to filter out the stuff that won’t help you hit it.